Wake Up and Smell the Flowers @-',--

3:54 PM


Wake Up and Smell the Flowers
BY: MYMARIA PIXIEFLY

This is not the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world. This is not the confession of a teenage drama queen either. This is just a typical girl’s dilemma on love. Yes, you read that right – a story of unrequited love. Well, not entirely unrequited but I know you are guessing this is how the story ends or what you are reading will deal with.

To cut the long story short, let me give you the synopsis. Girl meets boy next door (literally!) after years of not seeing each other on one fateful fall, and as opportune as the season they fell in love. Or so it seemed. But since boy does not really live in the neighborhood anymore, in fact, he currently dwells in a far away kingdom... Umm, you know what I mean... The blossoming relationship became not so blossoming anymore when boy had to leave girl after winter season to head back to the Promised Land, err, back to work. Girl is not so devastated in the hopes that LDR (that’s Long Distance Relationship to you) could actually work. And like any girl in what seems to be a serious relationship would do at first, girl grudgingly resumed life each day waiting for Prince Charming to come back for a vacation or maybe he just might romantically decides to fly back unexpectedly just to see her. Alas! The old maxim was proven wrong this time. Absence did NOT make the heart grow fonder. After months of LDR, absence has seemed to make the heart GO WANDER. Girl is saddened by the reality and is hanging on to the very last thread of hope that this seemingly serious relationship could survive the tests of time… and distance.

However, girl is now feeling crushed. Girl stares blankly most of the time, refuses to eat, does not take a bath, okay, so I’m exaggerating but the truth is she’s on the verge of tears. Yes, the river story might actually take place anytime. It’s a good thing that the girl has a strong support system at home and is lucky that she has got one solid circle of friends to keep her spirits up, if not flood her already clouded and blinded-by-love mind with crazy ideas inducing a touchdown break-up. Nevertheless, girl is glad she is not alone. Come nighttime, girl becomes insomniac. Friends are worried about her. Her already model-thin figure becomes totally thinspirational. All you vanidosas out there would kill for that body. Reality check: Anorexia is so NOT sexy. This is all because of that boy. Accordingly, he has gotten cold. Translation: He keeps saying he is busy and does not have time to talk/send sms/chat/email/take advantage of modern technology for communication. In other words, girl is not #1 priority anymore. Obviously, boy is detaching himself as if trying to take the first step to Break Up Boulevard. Basically, this is where the love story ends.

I am writing this piece as my analysis/recommendation to this girl who I know personally and am blood-related with. Now you know why I, too, am deeply concerned. I saw the hurt in her eyes like they were pillars of ancient Athenian temples. This writer knows from experience what it is like to be hurt. In fact, I have shared with the girl my sad stories and what I have done to overcome such heartaches. Being older and much wiser (ahem!), I feel obliged to help this usually bubbly girl. Not only because she is close to me but because I know she needs all the support she can get. Cupid struck her heart like never before and the hurt that will ensue, should she decide to pick up that phone and pour her heart out to the boy only to be dissed at the end, will be a total Armageddon. As of writing this, she seems to be in denial and still sees some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. Hello? All I see is a firefly.

I told her it was okay to cry or even mourn as long as she does not lose herself. Love is almost always synonymous to pain. When your hypothalamus gets infected with the love bug; that is when love becomes blind. At the beginning of every relationship, girls become so infatuated with the idea of love that believe love is actually there and only to realize, after a box of Kleenex and a bottle of beer, that it was never really there in the first place. Goodbye Friendster photos! It is time to create a new account. Sounds familiar? How many users have actually changed their relationship status at least twice since 2003? Single, In a Relationship, Married, Domestic Partnership and now, It’s Complicated!

I do not intend to make fun of this whole thing. Really. Even if I did make a bet for a hundred bucks if the relationship could even last until my birthday this year, I do want to give light to the whole predicament. Heck! If I were a real fairy, I’d be giving wishes for free! No, I could just become Aphrodite herself, even just for a day. Okay, now I’m OT (that’s Off Topic to you non-forum members). Moving on... Here are some of the things that I have advised to the girl:

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. (Read Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. The poem was not written anonymously, mind you!) Before we can reach out to others, we must love ourselves first. Especially in this case where the love boat is sinking, just group yourselves into ONE. “I” can be a powerful word. "Das Ich." Personally, feeding your ego in this case seems perfectly right. There is nothing better at this time than pampering yourself, looking your best without trying hard, and most of all, project a positive aura. It is my personal belief that if I exude optimism, the world can become a better place. But that’s just me. You see, happiness is infectious. Do you really want to just mope around like there is a nimbus cloud on top of your head following you everywhere? That is just so Addams Family!

Honesty will ALWAYS be the best policy. To others and most especially to yourself. You cannot be in denial for the rest of your life. The world is such a big place with so many places to see and so many people to meet. When you stop lying to yourself and when you face the music, that nimbus cloud will be seen no more. A closure is very much anticipated with this girl’s story. There is certainly no need for procrastination. The sooner the concerns of the affected party are aired out, the better. If the shoe does not fit… “don’t buy it”. (According to Fran Drescher, the Nanny.)

Stop being Miss Understanding. Nobody gets a gold trophy for that I’m sure. I see a fine line between trusting and suspecting. If you get too many alibis from a boy (they may actually sound convincing), get your tally sheet and check how many times he has given you such an excuse. “I’m sure you are busy but boy, are you running a country now? Can I at least set an appointment to talk to you for just 2 minutes? Oh, I did not realize you’re out of the country!” Geez. Enough said.

Make the FIRST move. If the fires are not burning anymore, should you rekindle it or completely extinguish it? First things first, you have to talk. Reassess the relationship. If there is red light ahead, do you take a turn and find another exit or wait until it becomes green? Either way, a decent conversation detailing a forecast of the relationship is ideal. After which, you can go buy more Kleenex or you can now throw your troubles away. It is your choice and the best choice right now is DO SOMETHING ALREADY.

Revenge is sweet BUT it is not yours. Please refer to the Laws of Karma. What goes around comes around. If you have that insane urge to do something that you will regret later on and still do it, then you are really insane. Nothing good can come from fighting evil with more evil. For real. And you will have nightmares about it for the rest of your life. Consider yourself damned.

Cliché: Everything has a reason. To quote Van Halen, “There’s a time and place for everything, for everyone. You can push with all your might but nothing’s gonna come, nothing’s gonna change.” When things do not come your way, then it simply was not meant to be yours. Destiny plays a big role in the search for true love. Just watch ABC-CBN’s Sana’y Maulit Muli and you’ll see. Remember, we are here for a purpose. Find that purpose and maybe, just maybe, you will find love.

If you agree with any or all 6 of those I have outlined above, please nod your head.

You actually nodded? Then I guess we are on the same team. Help me bring sunshine back to this girl’s life by sending me your comments, suggestions, or any violent reactions at mymaria@globelines.com.ph and you will get P30 worth of airtime load. I’m kidding! But I guarantee you that reaching out to someone you hardly even know is like PAYING IT FORWARD.

P.S. What’s with the title of this piece anyway? Well, here it is. I made a simple illustration of the girl after we talked today. I just felt compelled to call it “Wake Up and Smell the Flowers”. My interpretation is that each day is a new day. When you wake up you have choices to make and these choices will determine your life for the next 24 hours. Every day when I open my eyes I thank the Lord for a brand new day – a chance to make a difference.










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