This year's Valentine's Day sucked... NOT!!! This was the most pricele$$ Valentines Day ever... in my history! :P

It was totally unexpected. Nothing was planned. (The fishball part didn't happen one bit!) Everything was as spontaneous as it could get. Even the whole flowers and chocolate moment, it left me stammering and at a loss for words. I didn't know what to say. I mean, I'm not the type of girl you give chocolates and flowers to because first of all, I have realized long before that VDAY is a spawn of commercialism and all the hype is nothing but a cunning capitalist scheme really. However, this year's VDAY was a total romantic opportunity (especially for my Udon Boy) and aside from the fact that EVERYDAY IS VALENTINES DAY for us, this day definitely went down to our books by absolutely showing love, seeing love, and feeling all the love.

Now let the pictures speak for themselves.

CLICK FOR PICTURES AND READ THE REST OF THE ENTRY HERE:

http://bastaigatsikat.blogspot.com/2010/02/red-hot-valentines-day.html

My understanding of love leading to happiness has given everything in my life a new meaning. Now that I’ve come of age, I have felt the contentment that I had always anticipated. Of course, I wouldn’t mind having more money in my measly bank account but as far as relationships and my 25 years of existence are concerned, my life has never been better. I know for a fact that with whatever problems/trials that would come, I would easily breeze through it (perhaps being manhid has its advantages) and that nothing would ever change my mind whenever I set my heart on it. I have proven that and I am as stubborn as ever. Unyielding? You can say that again! Because I never believed in denying one’s happiness, I sometimes become completely tolerant; so tolerant that even if it seems stupid already, as long as it makes you happy (and it doesn’t break the Golden Rule and measures up to the rules of Karma), I am all for it. I mean, Sheryl Crow did sing, “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad!”

A text message I received today stated: There’s no point in sacrificing your happiness when it does not conform to what your heart dictates. As everyone is created uniquely, everyone does get a right to choose where they’d be happy. If it ensures lifetime happiness, then GO FOR IT! You wouldn’t want a miserable life faking the world with smiles, right? Right! And I know a lot of people who had sought for the meaning of life and ended up with finding love instead, which eventually led to happiness. I know I did. For me, I think love and happiness go hand in hand. A few Valentines ago, I wrote about not rushing into a relationship because you can never find love if you insist that you are already into it and that you need to try to find time to really understand your real feelings, to know who you really are, and what you really want in a relationship. Only then can one be contented and then be truly happy.



So many things have been written about love. Some people call it love when we can't leave someone and see them crying as we try to let go; we are wrong, it's just pity. Some people call it love when we're too attached and think that losing the one we love will somehow make us weak and unable to face the storms of life; we misunderstood, it’s just that we're too much dependent on them. And then there are people who call it love when we give our whole life to them, the wholeness of us and imagined that if they leave, no one would accept us and our past; we are mistaken, it’s just insecurity.

I have learned over time that searching for that “right” person for yourself isn’t the way it should be. All those fairy tale stories of Prince Charming, the knight in shining armor, or our modern day Edward Cullen, the vampire on a shiny silver Volvo, are just for hopeless romantics. You can wait forever but waiting is all you’ll ever do. On the other hand, you can be the “right” person for someone.  So instead of asking the question, “Is this the right person for me?” why not ask, “Am I being the right person? Am I being a person who comes to a relationship filled with love to share, or am I being a needy person hoping to get love and validation?” I think that our relationships fail not because he or she isn’t the right person, it's because we expected too much and we decided on our own. But I guess the main reason that many relationships don't work is because each person is disappointed in not getting what they expected to get from the other person.



You see, it is actually fairly easy to know if this is the right person for you when your intent in being in a relationship is to learn together and share love. It would be very ideal when two people are truly open to learning about themselves, to growing emotionally and spiritually, to taking responsibility for their own feelings of safety and security, worth and lovability, and will not be attracted to a person who is closed, controlling, and just wants to get love. But remember that knowing if this is the right person for you does not happen instantly. It takes months to discover whether or not a person is who they say they are. I’ve known the person I am in love with for 8 years, and it’s only now that I’ve realized that you cannot really know who a person is until you have conflict and find out what this person does in conflict. Some people can appear very open and loving until a conflict comes up and then they get angry, withdraw, resist or comply, closing down rather than staying open to learning about themselves and the other person. Since none of us enter relationships fully healed, it is very important to know that your partner is willing to explore conflict rather than just protect against it with controlling behavior. Conflict occurs in all relationships, and if both people are not open to learning about themselves and each other within the conflict, the unresolved conflicts will eventually destroy the relationship. We should all keep that in mind.

When we think we're in love the first thing we want the whole world to know is that our love for someone very special can never be taken away from us. Because we are overwhelmed with joy and romance, we forget to learn the meaning of true love. Some are saying that love is unselfish, blind, unconditional, or simply denying oneself for the sake of someone very important in our life. Others are saying love is immortal and can never be defined. George Sand beautifully expressed that, “there is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.” Love can bring authentic happiness and a smile to the most hard-hearted people. There is nothing or no one in life that love cannot change. The simplest way to achieve authentic happiness is by always being surrounded by people you love. When you are around your loved ones, it gives you a sense of belonging which can buffer you from stress. Love is a language the dumb can speak, a wonderful sight that the blind can see, and a harmonious song that the deaf can hear.



As with Feng Shui, if you want happiness then share happiness with all you meet and if you want love then give love freely and from your heart. But you know what is the most important tip for happiness? Love deeply and passionately. Sure enough you will get disappointed and hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely. I am in love and I am happy; therefore, to love is to be happy.



Let's celebrate life and love this coming V-Day!!! Happy Hearts Day, everyone!

⋆✌㋡ღ⋆ ia\m/^_^\m/ai 陳美西

Published in EV Mail, February 26, 2004.

I don’t know if it’s because it’s February or if I was bitten by the love bug, but I truly feel like I have to impart the message that Venus (or Aphrodite) has enlightened me. Anyhow, either I just have had too much of that love-whatchamacallit over the Valentine weekend or I’m just fed up with conversations on the subject of finding “the right one”. For the unattached it is certainly an interesting topic and I think I might as well write something about it for future reference. Seriously, I’ve had a lot of musing lately.

In fact, LOVE is not what you think it is. Sometimes we mistakenly feel that our first relationship will be our last. Because we are overwhelmed with joy and romance, we forget to learn the meaning of true love. Some are saying that love is unselfish, blind, unconditional or simply denying oneself for the sake of someone very important in our life. Others are saying love is immortal and can never be defined.

When we think we're in love the first thing we almost wanted the whole world to know is that our love for someone very special can never be taken away from us. We say this phrase "you are the most wonderful gift from God I have ever received..." After a terrible fight or sometimes even a petty quarrel we then say "You are the biggest mistake I've ever made for my entire life!!!" Now, how do you say and spell the word L-O-V-E? Are you really deeply into it?

Frankly, nobody can tell what love really is until experience speaks and whispers right into our ears. Most of the time, these love promises like "forever, till death do us apart, blah blah blah…" would end up "We should part ways, I'm no longer happy with you! My love for you is DEAD!!!" Many times we think, after having committed to someone and your trust to one another freezes down to zero degrees, that "S/He isn’t the right one. I should probably wait for the right one to come." But the big question anyone could not answer is, "Is s/he the right one?" and "When is the right time?" Will you always be waiting for the right person to come and the right time to commit? A big YES is the answer.

I have learned not to rush into a relationship because you can never find love if you insist that you are already into it. For singletons like me, you need to try to find time to really understand your real feelings, to know who you really are, and what you really want in a relationship.

You're right, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, but there's a compatible partnership that goes along with it. If you already knew that you're too big to fit into a small sized t-shirt, don't give it a try. You'll probably break it and pay for the damages you have made. If you knew and felt that the relationship will not last, don't go deeper into it. You'll just suffer the consequences and live like hell for the rest of your life.

It's really hard to say goodbye though, but you can't make it any better by just pretending you still have the same feelings. Believe me. Just try to let go and give yourself a chance to live life to the fullest. Give yourself a chance to grow and give your heart a much needed attention. Then you will find that you have made the right decision and you made it all by yourself. More frequently than not, we all act in a hypocritical manner for some reason.

We call it love when we can't leave someone and see them crying as we try to let go. We are wrong, it's just pity. We call it love when we're too attached and think that losing the one we love will somehow make us weak and unable to face the storms of life. We misunderstood, it’s just that we're too much dependent on them. We call it love when we give our whole life to them, the wholeness of us and imagined that if they leave no one would accept us and our past. We are mistaken, it’s just insecurity.

But no matter what the definition is, the truth still remains that love isn't something you can buy nor beg. It is real and existing. You can't touch it but you can feel it in your heart. You can't find it, but it will knock before you when you least expect it to come. It can make you the happiest soul in heaven, but don't forget that it also can make you the most miserable person in the whole galaxy.

My bestfriend once told me that "finding the right person is very hard and very wrong... it is best to be the right person for the one you love and start from there. You'll always end up disappointed when you set standards and define a "right person" for you... and don't rush things because somewhere somehow God is preparing somebody for you." Then I said to myself unconvincingly, “You’ve got to be kidding me! I can’t wait forever! I’ll be old…and lonely.”

So when another good friend of mine lent me a book titled ‘When God Writes Your Love Story’, I told myself while shrugging my shoulders, “Oh well, how hard can it be?” From the book I learned that you can never be perfect...the person you love can never be perfect...but both of you can be perfect through love and prayers, and your love can be perfect through the both of you. But, no relationship is complete without God...that's why we have marriage -- it's a bond not only between you and your loved one but also with God. All we need to do is give the pen to him and let him write our love stories. It won’t be easy, though, because He will make the choices for us. But with Him, nothing could go wrong.

I think that our relationships fail not because s/he's not the right person, it's because we expected too much and we decided on our own. Let God do the work. You may call it waiting time. But while you are waiting...pray. Let God guide you always. He knows better. No, He knows best.
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See previous blog entry: http://mymaria.multiply.com/journal/item/46/F_U_C_K_Vday