25 years of my life and still...

6:47 AM

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!” - Bob Marley

At 25 and waddling through my so-called quarter-life crisis, I think it’s now time to examine the characteristics that a quarter-life crisis may include (from Wiki) and analyze where I am at and how I am doing. Let’s begin:

  • Feeling "not good enough" because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level - PASSED! I found a job I sooooo love and am planning to stick with it for a couple more years.
  • Frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career - PASSED! Moved on from the call center industry then I got rid of people I don’t need in my life and kept the ones I will cherish for all eternity.
  • Confusion of identity - PROCESSING! Honestly, I still don’t know why I am attracted to females more than the opposite sex. LOL!
  • Insecurity regarding the near future - DELIBERATING! Although I am quite compensated, I still don’t want to become the bread winner of my future family, so yeah… go figure.
  • Insecurity concerning long-term plans, life goals - PROCESSING! My life insurance is fully paid now but I am STILL paying for another crisis-covered insurance which eats up quite a bit of my salary. *sigh*
  • Insecurity regarding present accomplishments - Somehow I think this does not apply to me. Hmm.
  • Re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships - PASSED! I got rid of the unwanted [shady] characters in my life and am enjoying the circle of friends I have as well as found my great love. Ayeee.
  • Disappointment with one's job - CHALLENGED! Although, frustrations are inevitable when dealing with team members, I find it challenging to be able to get things done and right!
  • Nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life - Hardly ever. The corporate world is a bitch, alright… but I wouldn’t want to go through the pains and merciless taunting back in school.
  • Tendency to hold stronger opinions - BINGO! “I think, therefore, I am.” Sometimes I come out intimidating and rude just because I insist on my own beliefs and often I have to defend myself because people judge me so unfairly. Geez.
  • Boredom with social interactions - N/A. With Facebook, Multiply, Friendster, and the rest of the cyberworld’s social networking services, my cyber and real social lives are intact.
  • Loss of closeness to high school and college friends - NO ISSUE HERE. I am still in contact with MOST of them… There were only 42 of us in high school and most of my college friends are basically, my Barks & Co. :)
  • Financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.) - PASSED! What a wise move it was to move back home!!! No regrets here! I lived [independently] in Cebu for 3 years and I must say it was a great learning experience, financially-speaking. Now that I am back home, I can very well say it’s the best decision I’ve ever made in my life, so far. I am with my family and nothing beats that! Boomerang Generation!!!
  • Loneliness - CURABLE! I only experience this when Manoy isn’t around but, nevertheless, my Barks are with me as well as my family. So I’m doing just fine.
  • Desire to have children - WORKING ON IT! I never really thought making babies literally was difficult. Now I know timing is the key. God willing! I do want to have kids.
  • A sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you - PASSED! I am so over this. This might be true for some; and now I can’t help but feel that some are jealous of me and want to put me down. LOSERS!!! Well, it sucks to be them.
I have lived in the “real world” and I have felt blood rushing through my veins as I feel life's energy flow in and out of me. Winning and losing were never the issues. It’s really about surviving. Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg. So true. And I just want to address this to people who don’t really know me or are assuming they do: “When we judge or criticize another person, it says nothing about that person; it merely says something about our own need to be critical.”

So moving on...

My dear friends, readers, and everyone else who just stumbled upon my blog, let me just say, for the Nth time, that I am not being defensive and I am not being a smart-ass. I don’t understand why some people question my morality/principles without even understanding where I am coming from. I really hate it when people say those things (behind my back or to my face), as if I am a criminal who has done something illegal against the constitution, when I don’t ever intentionally hurt other people. I don’t understand why others would even care to be involved in my personal life when I don’t give a damn about theirs. Why is there so much controversy in my life? Why can’t I be left alone loving the one person I consider my great love and vice-versa? Why all the drama???

If you don’t believe what I say, then don’t bother talking to me or even acknowledging my presence. We can forget about each other. Like pretend neither of us existed! I don’t need people who try to show concern only to try to ruin everything good that’s happening to me. Are you green with envy? Is that why you want me to become as miserable as you? Because in the first place, I don’t think I’m violating anything. Am I? Then say so! If you have anything against me, bring that up instead of finding loopholes or ambiguities just so I will look bad.  Does it really make you happy to see people around you getting hurt? What kind of a monster person are you?

People are like dirt. They can either nourish you & help you grow as a person or they can stunt your growth & make you wilt and die. So yeah, life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life. I’m not ranting, I’m simply trying to prove a point here. To each his/her own!

Now I give you sanbiki no saru (three wise monkeys). Mizaru, Kikazaru, Iwazaru! 見ざる, 聞かざる, 言わざる.



In other words, SEE NO EVIL, HEAR NO EVIL, SPEAK NO EVIL.


⋆✌㋡ღ⋆ ia\m/^_^\m/ai  陳美西

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